The Love Bug
by Christina5
Summary: Heero and Duo meet online for their first time which sweeps Duo into a world of chaos...
1. Default Chapter

**The Love Bug- Part 1**

(look~ chichi got a title~)

Legal stuffs: Nope, Heero's not mine Duo's not mine and the love bugs definitely not mine~ Just using them so don't sue~

Warnings: Just lame humor~ Don't worry nothing really~ And a little confusion?... ahh... well... U tell me. *no flames please~*

Heero and Duo have just met online. They have never met before. A tale of their first meeting.

Shinigami02: Hi!

Wing01: Who are you?

Shinigami02: My names Duo Maxfield. What's up?

Wing01: I'm busy

Shinigami02: With what? Maybe I can help you!

Wing01: I'm hacking into Oz's secret base.

Shinigami02: Ohhh I got caught last time

Shinigami02: But I managed to get away before they found out who I was.

Wing01: I'm not going to get caught.

Shinigami02: Are you sure?

Wing01: Yes.

Shinigami02: You sound pretty sure of yourself. Who are you?

(Waits a while but no response comes)

Shinigami02: I want to know who you are!

Wing01: You sound like Relena.

Wing01: Omae o Korusu.

Shinigami02: Relena? Ew

Shinigami02: How are you going to kill death?

(waits and waits)

Shinigami02: Did you get caught yet?

Wing01: Omae o korusu

Shinigami02: I told you! They updated the system so it's harder to get into.

Wing01: Omae o korusu

Shinigami02: Are you stalking me? If you are you never tell the person you are stalking you are going to kill him.

Shinigami02: That would scare him off.

Wing01: Then how come you haven't gone away yet?

Shinigami02: Good question Because I feel like annoying you!

Wing01: Omae o korusu

Shinigami02: I'm going to have to alert the AOL about your threats.

Wing01: Then I'm going to have to send you a virus.

Shinigami02: What?

Computer voice *You Got Mail* 

Wing01: Read your mail.

Shinigami02: Okay!

Wing01: I've got to go.

Shinigami02: Okay. Bye!

Duo proceeded to look in his mailbox. It said:

From: Wing 01 Subject: The love bug (for those of you who aren't current or maybe this is just an old ficcie now~ this is a type of virus)

"Jeez, something's wrong with that guy. First he's threatening to kill me and then he sends me a love letter *email same thing* what a strange person," Duo said to himself double clicking on the email to open it.

(I don't know what the actual email with the love bug looks like so I made it up)

Shinigami02!

You have been hit with the love bug! The person who sent this to you loves you. Download the file to see who it is! **The love bug**

Duo clicked on the email and ½ a minute later the file was downloaded. Suddenly the screen froze. "Damn this computer," Duo said. "Now I won't be able to see who it is!"

The screen went blank and a low monotone said: Omae o korusu Omae o korusu Omae o korusu Omae o korusu Omae o korusu Omae o korusu etc.

"Is this the new way to say I love you? By threatening to kill the person? HILDE!" Duo called. "Since when did Omae o korusu mean I love you?!?!"

"It never did!" Hilde said arriving behind Duo. "Baka, That's a virus."

C&C? Any comments? Flames? well flames will be read but have minimal effect on this writter~ Do tell me!~

Chichi~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Protector of Heero's one true love

Healer of Heero's wounds

Owner of the bathhouse in the Shinigami Temple

Proud member of the SACBHY

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


	2. The Love Bug 2

**The Love Bug- part 2**

Hiya minna-san~ The next part in my totally confusing fic~ Its SUPPOSED to be humor, not saying it is~ no yaoi at all *hears groans*

Legal stuffs: Heero and Duo and the love bug aren't mine~ And chichi's having a shortage of $$ too. 

Warnings: A bit confusing? In case this fic is a bit old... there was a virus called the "Love Bug"... ^^ Enjoy!

"Ahh finally," Duo said. After taking 3 months to get rid of the virus he got online. Oh Wing01 is online!

Shinigami02: Hi!

Wing01: I thought I sent you a virus.

Shinigami02: Well I got rid of it!

Wing01: That's a pretty good accomplishment. It usually takes people 5-6 months.

Shinigami02: So how did the hacking thing go?

Wing01: Why do you want to know?

Shinigami02: Why do you want to know why I want to know?

Wing01: Hold on. Gotta run

Shinigami02: Huh? Okay

~Wing01 logs off~

OmaeOKorusu: This is my new Sn.

Shinigami02: What's it for?

OmaeOKorusu: For saving my time.

Shinigami02: Huh?

OmaeOKorusu: So I don't have to type omae o korusu to threaten you.

Shinigami02: Ha! You just typed Omae o Korusu!

OmaeOKorusu: (types space so the IM is blank so he is really just saying I will kill you *please get my fic please get my fic*)

OmaeOKorusu: 

OmaeOKorusu:

OmaeOKorusu:

OmaeOKorusu:

OmaeOKorusu:

Shinigami02: Stop!

OmaeOKorusu:

OmaeOKorusu:  
OmaeOKorusu:  
OmaeOKorusu:  
OmaeOKorusu:  
Shinigami02: I get it already! You're going to kill me! Okay!

OmaeOKorusu: Good.

Shinigami02: Who are you anyway?

OmaeOKorusu: Damn she found me again!

Shinigami02: Who?

Message pops up: OmaeOKorusu is not online

SelfDestruct: If ILuvUHeero IM's you DON'T respond.

Shinigami02: Why not?

SelfDestruct: Because she is annoying!

Shinigami02: Who is she?

SelfDestruct: How does she keep finding me? Damn!

Shinigami02: What?

Message pops up: SelfDestruct is not online.

IHateURelena: I hope this SN does it.

Shinigami02: So it's Relena? 

IHateURelena: Yes

Shinigami02: And your Heero?

IHateURelena: Yes.

Shinigami02: Oh. I thought Relena announced to the world that you and her are engaged.

IHateURelena: She did?

IHateURelena: Damn

Shinigami02: She found you again?

IHateURelena: Yes.

IHateURelena: I'm going to send her a virus.

*Zooms over to Relena's house I mean mansion*

Computer voice: *You got mail*

Opening the mailbox Relena found this:

From: IHateURelena Subject: The love bug

The message reads:

ILuvUHeero!

You have been hit with the love bug! The person who sent this to you loves you. Download the file to see who it is! **The love bug**

ILuvUHeero: Oh Heero! I knew you loved me!

IHateURelena: Download it! Hurry!

ILuvUHeero: I don't need a picture of you Heero. I already have 1000's of them!

IHateURelena: This is an even better one!

ILuvUHeero: Oh, I don't need to waste my time downloading a picture of you!

One of Relena's many detectives' walks in and whispers in her ear. Relena jumps with joy.

ILuvUHeero: Heero, I'll just come over to you house! My detective just found out where you are!

ILuvUHeero logs off

*Zooms back to Duo's house*

IHateURelena: Damn, it didn't work!

Shinigami02: How so?

IHateURelena: She wouldn't download it.

Shinigami02: Jeez that girls smart.

IHateURelena: No. She decided to come over to my house instead.

Shinigami02: LOL!

IHateURelena: Hold on. I've got to assemble the explosives.

IHateURelena: She's here already. Damn, not enough time.

Shinigami02: Wow that's fast.

IHateURelena: I've found my self-detonation button. Good bye.

*BIG BOOM heard from across the street*

Duo got up to look outside. There was Relena standing at what was the door to the house across the street. An injured Heero rolls out from the rubbish. I didn't know he lived right across the street from me, Duo thought.

"Heero, why'd you do that?" Relena screamed.

"No not enough explosives" Heero muttered.

"Heero, you have got to stop doing these things. People are going to start thinking you're crazy!"

Wow he's sorta cute, Duo thought, maybe I should save him Running outside Duo said, "You can come and stay in my house if you want." 

Heero looked at Duo gratefully, even though he was a total stranger *remember they never met before* , and accepted. Helping Heero into the house they heard Relena shout, "Heero! I'll come back as soon as possible!"

Part 3 is on the way ^.~ So tell me how did you like this part of the fic???

Chichi~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Protector of Heero's one true love

Healer of Heero's wounds

Owner of the bathhouse in the Shinigami Temple

Proud member of the SACBHY

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


	3. Love Bug 3

**The Love Bug- Part 3**

Hello~ Well I'm sorta losing the plot *I never really had one in the first place* Well anyway this is just another one of those crazy fics that authors like me make up~ so just read along~

Legal stuffs: Ahem~ *clears throat* I don't own Heero and Duo or the Love Bug~ I wasn't their creators and I got no $$. Okay~

Warnings: I went a little crazy *look what happens when chichi gets bored and decides to write humor~* Don't read if u like Relena ok?~ You've been properly warned~

Heero woke up to a staring Duo. "Omae o Korusu..."

You just woke up and you want to kill me?" Duo said incredulously. "You know not everyone's crazy like you and understands Omae o Korusu as a multipurpose phrase."

Heero sighs. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He seems like Relena, always chattering... Nothings as bad as Relena, Heero reminded himself. "Is Relena here?"

"No but you know how many times she's called? She must run up a LONG phone bill." Phone rings. "Yup, that's her." Duo gets up and picks up the phone. "Hi Relena."

"How did you know it was me?" Whined a voice from the other side.

Duo yawns. "I don't know. You've only been calling every other minute for the past few hours."

"I'm just trying to make sure you don't do anything to Heero. He's mine you know."

"Look if you want to talk to Heero..." Duo's weary voice was cut off by violent shaking from Heero. "You can't because he's not up yet."

A look of immense relief came from Heero. "Well when he wakes up call me? My 800 number is 1-800-Queen RP. Okay?"

"Sure, I'll call u when he wakes up. If you don't call first..." Hanging up on Relena, Duo turned to Heero. "Why don't you want to talk to her?"

"You tell me."

"Because she's an annoying brat who has nothing better to do but chase after guys who are psycho and so obviously hate her that they blow themselves up?"

"Yeah, I think you got it."

Phone Rings~

"Ahh Hold on Heero" Picks up phone. "WHAT IS IT?!"

"What's your problem? I just wanted to know if Heero woke up yet."

"No he didn't! Now PLEASE stop calling!" Duo hung up on Relena. "I wish we could block certain people like you can on AOL."

"What? You can block people?" Heero was genuinely surprised. 

"You didn't know?" Duo started laughing crazily. "So you go hacking into OZ bases but don't know how to block people on AOL?"

Heero's eyes narrowed. "Omae o korusu."

Duo sighed. Great! Back to this again. While Heero decided to keep threatening Duo, the phone rang again.

"Does this girl ever stop?" Duo said.

"No."

"This means taking extreme measures. HILDE!" Duo shouted.

"Yeah Duo? Oh hi Heero. Glad you up!" Hilde said popping into the room.

"Omae o korusu," Heero said.

"Hilde looked at Duo puzzledly. "Don't worry, he's always like this," Duo reassured.

"Why don't you answer the phone?" Hilde said, reaching for it *it was still ringing*

"NO!" Heero and Duo shouted. "Hilde we need to get an answering machine Quickly."

*Answering machine pops into room due to severe lack of imagination from the author~*

"Here ya go Duo!" Hilde said giving Duo the answering machine. Heero just watched the machine in amazement. It appears that Heero has never seen one.

After picking up the still ringing phone and then hanging it up, Duo and Hilde quickly set up the answering machine.

"There we go. Thanks for the help Hilde!"

"Sure thing Duo! Bye Heero!" Hilde said.

"Omae o korusu."

Hilde looked at Duo with the "You find weird people on the streets" look, and left the room.

"See Heero? The phone call blocker. Now I don't have to talk to her at all." Duo marvels at his cleverness. *Don't ask why they didn't just get caller ID because this fic writer is trying to make this funny*

Duo proceeds to set up the answering machine ~ putting the greeting message on. "No we aren't home so STOP calling. Heero's not up yet. The beep'll come soon which signals the end of this message and you should HANG up and NOT call again."

*We'll have to see the out come of the answering machine In part 4 since this fic writer needs her sleep~*

Chichi~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Protector of Heero's one true love

Healer of Heero's wounds

Owner of the bathhouse in the Shinigami Temple

Proud member of the SACBHY

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


	4. Love Bug 4

**The love bug~ Part 4~**

This part may get confusing~ just play along and pretend you get it~

Legal stuff: I don't own any of the characters in this fic and its useless suing a lowly student~

Warnings: Do not read if you like Relena!!!~ You have been warned so flames on this will be read, laughed at, and perhaps posted for everyone's entertainment *no I'm not that mean but you get the basic idea~*

Duo finished recording the answering machines initial message. He set it to one ring only. Immediately someone *and we all know who that is* called.

Duo's voice played "No we aren't home so STOP calling. Heero's NOT up yet. The beep'll come soon which signals the end of this message and you should HANG up and NOT call again."

Message 1: HEERO! When are you going to wake up? And what did you think you were doing before, hanging up on me like that? Call me back!

Message 2: Heero, talk to me! I already scheduled a wedding date! You better be there!

Message 3: Answer the phone already! I know you're there! Heero I'm waiting for you to kill me!

Message 4: Heero ***sniffles*** Answer me. Please Heero.

Message 5: Damn it! I'm the queen of the world Heero you better pick up now or I'm gonna com- *beep*

"I guess it ran out of tape already" Duo sighed. And I thought saving a guy this guy was going to be easy "Is she always like that?" Duo asked Heero.

Heero gave no response but just stared at the phone with contempt. "Omae o korusu" Heero said threatening the phone.

Throwing up his hands Duo said, "No wonder she likes you Heero! You are just as psycho as she is!"

Heero's glare intensified as it moved itself to Duo. "Omae o korusu."

2 maniacs at a time Duo contemplated. Shouldn't be too much for Shinigami! "Okay, since she obviously didn't get that message Do you want to make one Heero?"

"Omae o korusu."

"I'll take that is a yes" Handing over the machine to Heero, Duo said, "Don't break it, we need it."

Starting to record the greeting message Heero said, "Omae o korusu Relena. Omae o korusu."

Setting it back up they waited but not for long.

RING~ "Omae o korusu Relena. Omae o korusu." Heero's voice played.

Message 1: yay you're up Heero! ::Glomps her telephone:: I love you too Heero

Message 2: I love you I love you I love you!

Message 3: Oh Heero your voice is so nice ::purrs:

While Relena left more messages Heero continued to glare at the phone. Getting up with much effort Heero walked over to the answering machine. "Mission accepted," Heero muttered.

"Heero what are you doing? You should go back to bed!"

Ignoring Duo, Heero's attention refocused on his self imposed mission. "Omae o korusu," Heero growled and proceeded to attack the machine and dismantle it, just as Relena left her 13th message

"Heero, I'm coming over!"

Soooo~ C&C! *falls over* So this is the millionth time I've asked for some~ *Whines* Soooo?~

Chichi~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Protector of Heero's one true love

Healer of Heero's wounds

Owner of the bathhouse in the Shinigami Temple

Proud member of the SACBHY

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


	5. Love Bug 5

**The Love Bug~ Part 5**

The end is near!~ It has come!~ And you can be relieved of my bad humor and lame jokes and get on with your life and actually read a good fic!~ *laughs at her sarcasticness then realizes everyone is agreeing*

Legal stuffs: Heero and Duo don't belong to me~ the belong to each other~ GW is not mine and I don't have enough money anyway~

Warnings: Relena bashing in this fic! You have been warned!~

Ding-Dong!

Wounds and all forgotten *most of which had been healed by Chichi!~* Heero got up and pulled out a self-detonation device.

"Sayonara." Heero said as a farewell.

"No Heero! Not again!" Duo cried just as Heero pressed it.

Duo froze waiting for the explosion. Silence ensued, but was interrupted by Hilde's noise downstairs, opening the door and letting Relena in. When no explosion came, Duo got confused.

"Damn, wrong button." Heero said. Producing 10 more self-detonation buttons, Heero pressed them all muttering, "It's got to be one of these. One of them!"

Huge explosions rocked the world around Duo's house, but none touched it. Heero's expression became more horrendous as he realized that none of his buttons worked. "I thought I set up one at this house!"

"You mean this think I unconnected?" Hilde said popping into the room, holding a small device. "I found it under the table over there."

Duo's eyes widened. "I didn't volunteer my house to be blown up!"

"Heero!" Relena screamed coming in beside Hilde. "Oh, baby, I missed you!"

A look of horror went across Heero's face. General confusion ensued with Relena chasing Heero, Duo yelling at Heero, Heero hiding behind Hilde, while grabbing for the explosives and Hilde avoiding Heero. The room soon became a mass of mayhem.

Giving up grabbing for the explosives, Heero decided he had enough. Jumping out of the window Heero landed in the bushes. *So its not a tall building, but it's the best I could do~* "Heero!" Relena screamed after him. Heero jumped up and ran away. *for wing zero?*

Relena rushed down the stairs into her pink limo. "Drive after that boy!"

Duo and Hilde stared after Heero and Relena, one running away with the other chasing after him.

It looks like a game of cat and mouse, Duo thought. "Duo do me a favor," Hilde asked. "Never bring home anymore people you meet on the Internet okay?"

"Sure thing Hilde," Duo eagerly agreed. Well I'm glad that's over, Duo thought. Various explosions could be heard from around the world as the game of cat and mouse continued.

Owari~

C&C is wanted, needed, and earnestly begged for! *****Goes off chanting*** **C&C C&C C&C C&C C&C C&C C&C!

Chichi~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Protector of Heero's one true love

Healer of Heero's wounds

Owner of the bathhouse in the Shinigami Temple

Proud member of the SACBHY

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


End file.
